The Runner

My window is rolled down and I feel my hair leaving my neck as my car speeds down the road. The wind sends chills down my legs and my usual goosebumps appear. It is 8:30 pm and my favorite song of that week is playing from my phone. I sing alone and let my own hands take me in the direction where I want to go in that moment: home. I could have driven anywhere else but I chose to go home, where I can unwind and fall into my routine of getting to bed.

I usually enjoy being in control: control of my destination, my speed, my music, my bedtime, and everything else in that situation. But being in complete control mostly means that I will be alone. No one will be around to give me alternative choices of where they want to go, or what music to listen to, or what time to go to bed. When I am in control, I feel safe. I feel like I have no other commitments to make to anyone but myself. I never have to let anyone down because of my own selfishness or theirs.

As I drive up the road to where my house is, I notice a runner on the side of the road. She had headphones on and did not even look to see who I was. My music was still on and I listened and watched as the runner took her strides to the rhythm of my music. With each drum tap, her foot would land on the pavement.

Listening to a song in the car and seeing a runner on the side of the road stride to the beat is oddly satisfying to me. She cannot hear the beat but she somehow takes each step to every single tap. It’s funny seeing two random, unrelated things being completely in sync with each other.

Chemistry works in the same way, correct? There is chemistry when two things work together unexpectedly. When two objects can naturally be together and function as one, they are in sync. Once it is discovered that these two objects can work well together, there usually is no turning back to the old way of simply using one item or the other.

We are comfortable being alone. But chemistry allows not only molecules, but people, to connect with others and grow. We need other people to understand who we are. We need to be in sync with another person so we can build each other up and bring out the best in each other. It does not have to be a lover; it can be a best friend, or it can be both. That is what we all strive for: a best friend to have forever to accept who we are and love every bit of it. I want to love someone unconditionally for how they were raised, how they go about their lives and routines, how they see the world around them. And I want the same in return; I want them to see me as me.

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I do not want to think twice if my best friend loves and accepts me for who I am. It will be oddly satisfying turning on my favorite song in the car with my person in the seat next to me to sing along. It will be oddly satisfying getting home and running through my routine with my person and having a conversation about our days while getting ready for bed. It will be satisfying having a connection that is natural, unforced, unique.

We all want a connection that is as in sync as the runner and the beat. We all hope to find this natural connection, but until then, all you can do is remain happy with yourself, because chemistry will never be found without completely accepting who you are. Love yourself unconditionally and only then, will you find another to grow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Window 

How to overcome loneliness

I only become efficient when I sit at a singular desk, away from all windows. Desks offer a bland, wooden view that is impossible to find remotely interesting while windows offer more than enough opportunity to drift away into a dream.

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My window could look out into a busy street with students scurrying to their classes and cars traveling every which way. I stare at chaos in every direction and commence on one of my favorite pastimes: people watching. Some are strolling in a stress-free fashion, their arms swaying and legs moving at a slow speed. Some run to catch the bus that is beginning to inch off onto the road. Some walk with friends and are engaged in a conversation soon to end by their changes in direction. The last kind of person I see are those who walk alone, shoulders stiff and heads pointed at a downward angle, no near destination in sight.

I wonder if these loners are happy walking without anyone else. They usually wear headphones and wear a blank, straight face but their expressions are expected. The word “lonely” tends to take on a negative connotation in our society.

But in reality loneliness is not rare. Negative feelings are never discussed so no one knows just how lonely the people in our society really are.

Loneliness and sadness can occur simultaneously but you do not have to let loneliness associate itself with sadness every time you feel this way. Positive feelings can come out of being alone. I certainly am happy walking alone; I embrace the time I have to think and reflect on what insight and new knowledge that were received that day.

Surrounding yourself with peers from hour to hour can take away from what you have to offer. Rid your mind of gossip and rumors: unnecessary information. Extract useful knowledge and study it. Fulfill your own potential. Take a leap of faith to be different and design your thoughts to be unique.

Being alone opens a whole new window of opportunity, for my window looks not into the outside world but into just the opposite. Embrace loneliness and be one with your thoughts. Make peace with loneliness, and only then, will you make peace with yourself.